Supermodel

Shyness affects a lot of people. Some stay shy, while others overcome what is often a debilitating personality trait. Staying shy almost seems the easier of the two paths, as it becomes a crutch or excuse. Conquering bashfulness deserves recognition.


My grandmother, Catherine, identified herself as shy for most of her life. She relied on the affliction to explain her limited social activity. She was the youngest in her household of a Depression-era Bostonian family. She met her first husband upon the urging of a gregarious girlfriend at a crowded dance hall in 1945. She started college in her 50s. She devoted every minute to her husband and family without any resentment. Then, as a grandmother, she chauffeured, babysat, cheered, cooked, and cleaned. She sacrificed plenty for the happiness of others, and one of these sacrifices was enjoying the company of peers.


I do not mean to suggest any malfunction of her personality, however. My grandmother is kind and generous, funny and sensitive. She accounts for her sense of humor by claiming her Irish heritage. Her kindness and strength of character have made it easy for me to call her my role model.


My grandmother's strength comes not necessarily from her inherent traits but also from those fostered by circumstance. My grandfather died at 56, leaving a widow of 53 and five daughters. My grandmother was alone for 30 years until she remarried a wonderful man she met after moving back to Connecticut. After two years of happiness with him, she lost him to poor health. She rid her system of perfunctory tears and, while occasionally reflecting on her husband with sadness to this day, she has proceeded with life once again.


By doing this, after recovering from another grave loss, my grandmother modeled the most impressive amount of strength I have witnessed. The shyness she overcame to ingratiate herself into a new community (her retirement home in Middletown, CT), granted her the strength of support. Because she made efforts to befriend many, she received a wealth of compassion and sympathy after her second husband's death. Her magnetism of concern and genuine interest in others came back to her tenfold, right as she needed people the most. The choice to break free of smaller circles and be encompassed by a larger net of friendship shows my grandmother's resolve to find the positive side of life at any level. She has been selfless in her actions. The response of kindness and admiration by others is her greatest reward.